Avengers in Wonderland
by Noodle Fanatic
Summary: One day Parker follows a man into a large hole and the weirdest day of her life begins. She meets Tony Stark, the brilliant, but crazy hatter. The mysterious Loki who can't help but grin at Parker's confusion and other fantastic characters. Discover Wonderland in a brand new way. Avengers style!
1. Chapter 1

Avengers in Wonderland 

_A/N I don't know why, but this came to my head as an idea. I'm going to do a character breakdown so nobody gets lost. Yeah, nothing makes sense its Wonderland!_

_Each character has been put into the book, Alice and Wonderland but still have their own personality _

_Alice- Parker an OC that's based off a friend of mine (Yes, I know Parker is an odd name. It's a long story.)_

_Rabbit- This one was hard but I finally chose Brue Banner. (Sue me.)_

_Caterpillar- Nick Fury_

_Cheshire Cat- Loki (have you seen that man smile?)_

_Mad Hatter- Tony Stark no contest_

_Door Mouse- Steve Rogers (This guy always sleeps doesn't he?)_

_Tweetle Dee- Clint Barton (I really don't know why.) _

_Tweetle Dum- Natasha Romanoff (The fabulous duo!)_

_Queen *cough* King- Thor (The man does like his pop tarts.)_

_March Hare- Though I only mention once I decided on Phil Coalson _

_P.S. I made an itty bitty Psych reference try to find it _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Avengers, Alice in Wonderland. Don't rub it in…._

Parker was off to a rotten day. She'd spent most of the day in the park rotting her brain out. Nothing was really happening. In the middle of the afternoon she saw a man in a grape purple suit. He kept checking his watch as if he needed to be somewhere. Once in a while, he'd mumble to himself,

"Good grief, I'm late!"

Or… "I shall be late!"

But he'd seemed in no hurry to go anywhere. This troubled Parker, for if he was late he'd be in a hurry. But this man seemed to not move at all! Finally, the man walked off and jumped down a rabbit hole, swan dive style. Parker burned with curiosity and followed the rabbit down the dark hole. As she fell she started to wonder when she was going to hit the ground. Then out of nowhere, a parachute appeared. She struggled to put it on mumbling to herself,

"This didn't go as smoothly as I hoped." She finally slipped it on, pulled the string and gracefully floated to the ground.

There was nothing in the room that she just landed in except a stool with a cake that said, _Eat Me! _Parker had never been in to reading labels and ignored the cake completely. But not more than a stone's throw away was another stool with a plate full of *wait for it* bacon. Parker only had one weakness. Bacon. It was her kryptonite. She ran to the bacon and ate up the greasy goodness. The room started to grow larger. No, she was becoming tinnier. She looked up at the stool leg and sighed. The man she saw earlier raced in and ran to what appeared as a big red door. He threw it open and ran though. The door slammed behind him and locked it before Parker had a chance to call to him. Parker saw a key hanging just out of reach on a hook on the wall.

"Of course I'm still too short!" she cried. Then, if by magic a pineapple smoothie appeared by her feet with a tag that noted, _Drink me_.

"If this makes me smaller I'll just slip through the little crack at the bottom of the door." "If I become taller I will reach up and take the key." She decided. Parker slurped up a huge sip of pineapple smoothie and felt the room starting to shrink. She wasn't becoming taller she was becoming bigger! Parker was now squeezed into the tiny room, her forehead squished to the ceiling. In spite of herself, she started to cry. Big, fat, wet tears that fell to the ground with a large, _**splash!**_ Parker didn't cry often, tears were a waste of time in her opinion. But the tears kept coming, until she realized she was swimming in tears! The red door burst open letting Parker swim in a pool full of salty tears. Somehow, Parker shrunk down to miniature size and paddled through the tears, letting the current flow. She landed on wet grass in front of a large toadstool. A man with a large trench coat and crude, black eye patch over his left eye sat on the toadstool.

"Who are you?" he said lazily blowing bubbles

"I'm afraid I can't answer that question, for I've changed several times in the past few minutes."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Explain yourself!" he demanded sternly.

"I can't explain myself, because I'm not myself." Parker said cleverly

"That's rather confusing." The man said blowing another set of bubbles.

"It all seems very odd to me." Parker said looking around.

"You!" the man cried

"Who are you?" Parker realized this conversation was going nowhere. Parker bid the man fare well, and went merrily on her way. She walked along the path until she ran across a fork in the road.

"Which way shall I go?" she mused. A man appeared in green and gold.

"That depends on where you want to go." He smiled an inhuman smile.

"I don't really care-"

"Then it doesn't matter where you go." The man concluded with another wide smile.

"In that direction," he pointed with his staff,

"Lives Tony Stark, he's a bit mad."

"In that direction," the man pointed the other way,

"Lives Phil Coalson."

"Visit either one; they're both a little troubled." He concluded with another wide grin.

"Are you playing croquet with the queen this afternoon?" The man asked.

"I'll see you there!" he said not bothering for a response from Parker. With yet another creepy smile he disappeared with a fade of blue. Parker decided to walk to Tony Stark's house for mild amusement. She walked to his house and saw the oddest scene ever. A man that could only be Tony Stark chatted to his teacup. Next to him a man was fast asleep in a cup of tea. Parker sorely wished she had gone to visit Phil Coalson instead.

"That must be terribly uncomfortable for the man." Parker murmured. The table was a rather large one with Tony Stark and the sleeping man sitting at one end of the table

"No room!" Tony Stark cried when he saw Parker

"There's _plenty _of room!" Parker cried sitting down on a red armchair.

"Have some wine." Tony said in an encouraging tone

"Uh… I don't drink wine." (_Yeah, Parker you go girl!)_

"There isn't any." Tony said

"Then why did you offer it to me?" Parker asked

"Your hair needs cutting." Said the sleeping man, who was now awake and staring at Parker with great curiosity.

"Keep your opinions to yourself." Parker said

"Why is a raven like a writing desk?" Tony asked Parker

"Oh I love riddles!" Parker said

"What day of the month is it?" The sleepy man asked

Parker though about it for a minute,

"The fourth." Parker replied

"Two days wrong!" the man said staring at his watch "I told you the butter wouldn't suit the works!" Parker found this conversation a bit odd and said nothing

"It was the best butter." Tony said meekly

"Have you guessed my riddle yet?" Tony asked

"No I suppose I give up." Parker said

"What's the answer?" Parker asked

"I haven't the slightest idea." Tony said

"Nor I." The sleeping man said. Parker face-palmed it was pointless to have a conversation with these guys. She stood up and continued on her way.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N May I just say how good it feels to finish a fanfiction?_

Parker was now feeling very much annoyed with this place. Nothing seemed to make sense and everyone seemed to be crazy. She passed a young woman who had brilliant red hair. She was having a very quiet argument with a man who had a bow and arrows on his back.

"Hey! You! With the face!" the man called to Parker

"Everyone has a face." The woman reminded him

"Remember that one guy…"

"My friend and I are trying to figure which way to the croquet grounds." The woman interrupted

"I know exactly where we are." The man said pulling out a giant map.

"No you don't. That is why I'm asking for directions." She elbowed him

"What is it with women and asking for directions?" he asked bewildered

"What is it with men and maps?" She retorted. She turned to Parker. But Parker had seen the man that she had been following earlier and had quickly followed him. Parker followed the man to very wide garden. Everything was blood red except the roses which were a shocking white. Three card soldiers seemed to be painting the rose bushes crimson.

"Would you tell me why you are painting the roses red?" Parker asked politely

"Well, you're rather dense!" The five cried. The six stomped on the five's foot.

"I'm sorry; five was dropped on his head as a child."

"Hey!"

"The truth is, Miss, we should have ordered red flowers but we put in white ones by mistake. If the queen were to find out…" The four gulped

"The Queen!" Five cried out in alarm. The three cards ran out to the front of the bush clearly trying to conceal the dripping red roses. Parker craned her neck forward, eager to see the queen. The procession consisted of ten card soldiers, heart children, and then the guests, some Parker recognized the redheaded woman and the man were walking in an odd fashion, ignoring Parker completely. Then the queen, who wasn't a woman at all but a very tall man. He seemed to be wearing red curtains. (_Who saw what I just did there?) _

"Who's this?" he pointed at Parker

"My name is Parker, your Majesty."

"What kind of name is that?" he demanded. Parker could only shrug

The queen seemed to notice the rose bush for the first time.

"What on Earth?" he wondered

"Your greatness…" the five babbled falling to his knees

"I see." He said examining the roses

"OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" he screamed. Parker looked in horror as the cards were dragged away.

"You!" The queen roared. Parker jumped.

"Parker," he said a bit softer "Can you play croquet?" Parker nodded

"Get to your places!" shouted the queen in a voice of thunder. _(LOL) _And the game began.

The players began to play, with no turns and much arguing. Every minute or so the queen would roar,

"Off with his head!" Parker desperately looking for an escape route, when the man dressed in all green appeared in front of her.

"How are you?" he whispered in her ear

"Don't even ask."

"How are you liking the Queen?" He asked

"Terribly," said Parker "he's so extremely cruel."

The queen screeched in misery.

"My poptarts are… missing!" he cried dramatically

"It was Parker!" the Two said

"Off with her head!" The queen cried.

"What?" Parker cried

"You have no proof." The man in green said

"I saw her." The ace said

"What!" Parker repeated.

"Off with her head!" the queen shrilled.

"Follow me!" the man that Parker had been following all along. And they ran until…

"Hey!" Parker wake up!" Parker's eyes fluttered open. Standing over her was her friend, Elizabeth who was try not to laugh

"Come on, it's time to go home sleepy head."

"I had _the _weirdest dream." Parker rubbed her eyes.

"I'm sure you did." Elizabeth said. Parker got up and dusted herself off. Yes, what a weird dream indeed.


End file.
